


The Stories that Define Me and You

by Dragomir



Series: Mirror, Mirror [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Fluff and Mush, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scars, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-23 11:20:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3766228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragomir/pseuds/Dragomir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're not conventional, but they fit together and smooth off the rough parts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scars

**Author's Note:**

> A follow-up to 'Another Lifetime'. Stories are not told in chronological order.

Dorian’s left hand is missing one finger and pieces off two more. His fourth finger is badly damaged and doesn’t bend. His thumb is fine. When Bull strokes the damaged hand and when Dorian doesn’t shudder in the grips of an old fear, the battle-mage tells the story of how that hand was damaged. The fall of Seheron and his capture by Ben-Hassrath led to the injury.

Bull trades the story of how he lost his eye. Dorian’s face takes on a rare look of affection and his scarred lips twist into an even rarer fond smile as Bull tells of how he found Krem. The Tal-Vashoth kisses Dorian’s mangled left hand when the human calls him an idiot in a tone that most people would call dismissive or insulting. (It is how Dorian can show affection. His words have no bite when he is trying to be kind, even though the words are harsh.)

Bull lets Dorian explore the tapestry of scars on his skin at his own pace. In return, he is allowed to explore the mage’s. The battle-mage never consents to being bound or gagged. (He touches the scars at the corners of his mouth and the ones lacing up his arms when Bull asks why. Bull does not press further.) Dorian _will_ let Bull blindfold him, and becomes more tactile the longer he wears it. It is a testament to how much trust Dorian places in Bull that only the curtains have been set on fire.

Dorian does not let Bull linger on the scars tracing over his hips, the ones that match the shape of hands. Bull prefers not to let anyone touch the scars on his forearms that wrap around his wrists. The look Dorian gives him says that he understands. The battle-mage kisses Bull’s palms gently as Bull shakes from the old fears the memories bring.

Neither of them will let the other touch their necks or the scars just over their collarbones. (They do not need to say how the rings of scar tissue or old aches came to settle there.)

The ones neither of them can touch physically are the same ones that make Dorian wake up screaming, body too hot to touch without pain. They are the scars that make Bull mumble Qunlat in his sleep, pleading with (or perhaps  _for_ ) his Tama. They are the scars that take both men days to recover from when the wounds are picked at.

They share scars they acquire with the Inquisition and allow the other to touch them without permission.

It is not conventional, but it is love.


	2. Food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scent and taste are two of the most powerful triggers for memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because some things last for too long.

Dorian cannot stand the smell of pork. It sends him into a panic and he lashes out at anyone who gets too close to him until the smell is cleared away and something else – usually mint, but sometimes cinnamon – takes its place. He does not say why he can’t stand the scent. (Bull knows.)

Bull cannot eat anything with a smooth texture. He chokes down the thick, greasy broth from druffalo stew and retreats to the tent he shares with Dorian, arms wrapped around his stomach as he tries to convince himself not to vomit. It doesn’t always work and he ends up at the latrines, retching. He does not tell anyone what makes him ill. (Dorian understands.)

The battle-mage gives the Tal-Vashoth gifts of raisins, dates, and the occasional offering of crisp apples. He talks quietly about Minrathous, and how you could buy almonds coated in cinnamon and sugar and honey as he shells walnuts and passes the meat to Bull. No one knows that Dorian watches Bull eat and only brings his gifts when something that might make his lover ill is being served. (Bull notices.)

The tavern stops serving ham sandwiches while Dorian is in Skyhold. The cooks make sure to send a courier to the battle-mage’s room when bacon is to be served at breakfast. The smokehouse stops curing ham. Dorian notices that the smell of cooking pig slowly disappears from Skyhold and relaxes. No one knows who is making the changes. (Dorian does.)

Dorian does not share his food. Neither does Bull. Both of them hunch over their plates and eat quickly. Bull eats like he thinks someone will take it from him if he doesn’t. Dorian eats like he’s starved before. Neither of them comment to the other, but they _know_.

Smooth-textured food forces Bull to remember the re-educators in Par Vollen force-feeding him, before he managed to escape. Dorian remembers the smell of burning bodies in Seheron and how it reminded him of pork, the stench growing greater and greater the farther the fire spread.

They don’t tell each other how they know, but they still try to heal the hurt when they can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least they've got each other.


	3. Indulgences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bull tells people he likes pastries. Dorian says nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprisingly little angst here.

Dorian has thick, dark hair that he weaves into a braid and ties up into a bun at the back of his head. Bull is the only one who knows how long the battle-mage’s hair is. The Tal-Vashoth’s favorite indulgence is watching Dorian undoing the intricate style at night, unpinning and unbraiding and combing out the long, dark strands in front of the fire, face soft and serene. Bull likes it even more when he is allowed to sit behind the battle-mage and comb the snarls out. Dorian no longer shudders when the Tal-Vashoth sits behind him now, and every time they have this evening ritual, he relaxes a little more. Bull hums softly as he combs the long, dark hair and weaves it into intricate braids as Dorian dozes on the hearthrug like some overgrown cat, a faint smile threatening to break out on his face.

Bull knows how fragile Dorian’s trust is and tells everyone that he prefers fancy Orlesian pastries or alcohol when they ask him what his favorite treat is.

Dorian’s favorite indulgence is not, as one would expect of a mage from a noble Tevinter house, rich food, fine wine, or fine clothing. Most of the fine gifts offered to him seem to repulse him, to the point where he starts outright growling at the visiting nobles who try to give him gifts. (Krem cackles as he tells Bull how people back in the Imperium tried to buy themselves a pet battle-mage. Bull makes a mental note to never try to buy Dorian’s favor, after one such story.)

The battle-mage’s favorite indulgence is one that nobody in Skyhold would expect, or even see as an indulgence. In the mornings, Bull hands his shaving kit to Dorian and sits quietly on a low stool as the battle-mage performs the quiet ritual of cleaning stubble from his lover’s chin. On mornings when Dorian has slept through the night, Bull is allowed to return the favor. Dorian views the trust Bull has in him, during these quiet moments, as something headier than wine. Bull knows that Dorian views Qunari – adult Qunari, trained Qunari like the ones he fought on Seheron – as  _things_ to be killed. That Bull trusts him enough to let the battle-mage near his throat with a razor… That trust is heady for Dorian. The battle-mage sings softly under his breath when he helps Bull shave, and Bull hums along when he knows the tune.

There is one common indulgence that Bull and Dorian share: Bathing. In the wilds, when the Inquisitor drags them out on adventures, bathing is a matter of practicality and brisk efficiency. In Skyhold, there are private and public baths where people can soak and enjoy the luxury of hot water and soap.

Bull enjoys taking nice long soaks in hot water because it is something that doesn’t happen under the Qun – bathing is for practicality, not for socialization or relaxation. There are no scented soaps or oils, no relaxing and letting tired muscles loosen in warm water. Bathing is practical and done as fast as possible. In Skyhold, no one minds if he comes out of the baths smelling like lavender.

Dorian enjoys long soaks because of how it eases his muscles and reduces the ever-present headaches lurking behind his eyes. Bathing was hard to do in Seheron, and he’d spent too much time there to remember a truly long soak. All he’d wanted to do when he’d been granted leave had been to sleep. When he is in Skyhold, he adds mint to the water and soaks, trying to remember life before Seheron.

When they bathe together, Dorian sits on Bull’s lap, his back to the Tal-Vashoth’s chest. Bull’s rumbling purr of contentment and the warm water lull him into a state of drowsiness, and Dorian almost starts purring himself when Bull starts washing his hair, thick fingers massaging soap into his scalp.

It’s not conventional, but it’s soothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! I _can_ be nice to them!

**Author's Note:**

> The boys try, at least.


End file.
